Thursday, March 12, 2009

Are You Looking For a Faithful Spouse? Here's Some Advice.

My husband works with a younger crowd. He is probably as about 30 years older than the average person who works there.

Jerry is appalled at the lack of normal family relationships within the large group that he sees daily. It doesn’t seem to matter whether it is a woman or a man. They all have one thing in common; and that is a lengthy and sorrow filled string of ‘relationships’ that didn’t work out.

One day a woman asked Jerry if he had ever ‘strayed’.
Jerry replied; ‘Nope!’
She replied, ‘I can’t even get a boyfriend to be faithful; much less a husband.’

Jerry just walked away. He had no idea of what to say. He told me, ‘She needs more help than anyone can give her in one session.’

I will be honest that there is no ‘sure fire way’ to guarantee that you can choose a spouse that will be a faithful, caring, helpful, supportive person.
However, there are some actions that will help put the odds in your favor.
There are also some actions that will definitely guarantee a failed ‘relationship’ or marriage.

To be ‘marriage material’ requires that the person contemplating marriage be the sort of spouse he or she would want personally.
That means living like you were already married.
That means being faithful to your potential spouse before you even meet them.
That means abstinence from s-e-x (sex) until you are married.
If you have been living the casual life, today is the day to start a new way of life. Abstinence should start for you today.
If your old friends don’t accept your decision – then it is time to get some new friends.
The idea of living together to see how it works is garbage.
Marriage is COMMITMENT.
There is nothing ‘casual’ about it.
What you want to find out about a person is not ‘how you will get along living together’.
You do want to know if your potential spouse can commit to something that is difficult.

You also need to be realistic.
My husband is faithful to me not because of who I am; but, because of who he is.
He decided long before I met him that he would live within the boundaries of behavior defined by God in the Bible.
There is nothing that anyone can do to ensure faithfulness in a spouse.
All you can do is be faithful yourself.
To think otherwise is to set yourself up for a big fall.
Mr. or Miss ‘sleeps around’ is not going to be ‘caught’ or ‘tamed’ by anyone.
This sort of person will always be looking for a reason to cheat. You cannot change his or her heart.
If you are married to a serial cheater, your option is probably divorce.
It comes down to the question, ‘Do I want to live the rest of my life like this?’
Living with a cheater could be compared to someone on one football team who goes out sneaks out and plays for a different team every now and then. Can you imagine if the Cowboys’ quarterback got up one day and decided to play for the Patriots?

I’m afraid that a majority of the people, all the way from the very young, to senior citizens, now see s-e-x (sex) as a casual activity that somehow validates ones personal attractiveness, personal power of persuasion, or as something so casual as to have no significance at all.
THAT attitude is definitely the beginning of a failed ‘relationship’. Stay away from people with that attitude.
Unfortunately, casual relationships are also the beginning of failed family units;
Failed churches,
Failed businesses and economy; and
Failed nations.

The importance of establishing a relationship leading to marriage inside the boundaries set by God cannot be overstated.
People tend to think of past generations as couples stuck in a marriage that provided nothing but frustration for everyone involved, and especially oppression for the women.
That is a false premises promoted by Hollywood and a bunch of bitter women who probably stepped outside the boundaries of a Godly relationships BEFORE they became feminists.
I have seen MANY lengthy marriages. They are not perfect. There is conflict in the marriage. But the couple is better equipped to face the world as a team than as one alone.
Talk about teamwork! A functioning marriage is teamwork at its best.
And they have something in common; the spouses are faithful to God and to each other.

Here’s the way it works to a great extent.
If you want to live within a faithful ‘relationship’, then that relationship must be within the boundaries of a MARRIAGE! Marriage should be your goal. Corporations don’t work without commitment contracts. Neither should you!
The best way to check for a potential spouse’s ability to be faithful in marriage is to demand they are faithful before marriage.
Faithfulness before marriage should be in the context of ABSTINANCE.
This shows respect for you personally, and for the rules by which God tells us to live.

Faithfulness begins with you.
Be faithful to God.
Be faithful to the standards which you have set for yourself.
Demand faithfulnes in return.

Memorize Pslam 37:1-3 which says:
3. Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
4. Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
5. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

God has someone special for you.
Wait on God to bring that person to you.

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